Quotes from
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Mitch: Note to self: Sex with blow-up doll not as good as advertised.
Mitch: You know there are two types of people in this world: Those who get stomped on and those who do the stomping.
Kathy: Where did you hear that?
Mitch: Oh, that famous guy said it. What was his name? ...Jesus!
[Sam & Mitch find out they're half-brothers.]
Mitch: Hey, remember in 4th grade when I looked up your sister's dress? I was really looking up my own sister's dress!
Sam: Yeah! Remember in 11th grade when you had sex with her?
Mitch: Ah Well, things could always be worse. I could have had my nose bitten off by a Saigon whore!
Jimmy: [slowly turns to face the camera and blows smoke from his cigarette, exposing his scarred nose] YOU BASTARD!
Mitch: Just kidding. I saw ya there, Jimmy. Hey, barkeep? How about a beer for my buddy Jimmy?
Jimmy: [laughs] Aw, okay.
Kathy: You guys are brothers?
Mitch: Well, it's a long story...
Sam: My dad boned his mom.
Mitch: Okay, so it's a short story.
Mitch: Note to self: remember to get ass wart cream for giant wart on my ass.
Sam: Well, Mitch, it looks like we got ourselves a fight!
Mitch: All right, it's fightin' time! Can I be on their side?
Guy in bar: Looks like theirs gonna be a fight. You gonna play something?
Jerry: Hell Yeah! Rolling Stones Street Fighting Man! G..Seeven!!!
Guy in Bar: You pushed G-8. (sissy song starts in the background)
Mitch: Note to self: learn to fight.
Mitch: Bet you didn't count on my loyal army of prostitutes!
Bearded Lady: Honey, you ever have a chick with a beard before?
Mitch: Ha. ha. Can't say that I have there, bearded broad.
Bearded Lady: Well then, sugar, you haven't lived.
Mitch: Note to self: I don't want to live.
Mitch: Are those prostitutes? I mean, who are those girls?
Mitch: You know what hurts the most is the, is the lack of respect, that's what hurts the most, except for the, except for the other thing, that hurts the most, but the lack of respect hurts the second most!
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