Elliot: He's a man from outer space and we're taking him to his spaceship. Greg: Well, can't he just beam up? Elliot: This is REALITY, Greg.
[On what Elliot could have seen.] Michael: Maybe an elf or a leprechaun. Elliot: It was nothing like that, penis breath! E.T.: E.T. phone home. Elliot: How do you explain school to a higher intelligence? Michael: Maybe it was an iguana. Elliot: It was NO iguana. Michael: You know how they say there are alligators in the sewers? Gertie: Alligators in the sewers. Mary: All we're trying to say is, maybe you just probably imagined it. Elliot: I couldn't have imagined it! Michael: Maybe it was a pervert or a deformed kid or something. Gertie: A deformed kid. Michael: Maybe an elf or a leprechaun? Elliot: It was nothing like that, penis-breath! Mary: If you ever see it again, whatever it is, don't catch it, just call me and we'll call somebody and have them take it away. Gertie: Like the dogcatcher? Elliot: But they'll give it a lobotomy or do experiments on it or something. Michael: Maybe he's some animal that wasn't supposed to live. Could be a monkey or an orangutan. Elliot: A bald monkey? Gertie: Is he a pig? He sure eats like one. Elliot: You could be happy here, I could take care of you. I wouldn't let anybody hurt you. We could grow up together, E.T. Keys: Elliot, that machine, what does it do? Elliot: The communicator? Is it still working? Keys: It's doing *something*. What? Elliot: I really shouldn't tell. He came to me, he came to me. Keys: Elliot, he came to me too. I've been wishing for this since I was 10 years old, I don't want him to die. What can we do that we're not already doing? Elliot: He needs to go home, he's calling his people, and I don't know where they are, and he needs to go home. Keys: Elliot, I don't think he was left here intentionally, but his being here is a miracle, Elliot. It's a miracle and you did the best that anybody could do. I'm glad he met you first. Elliot: You must be dead, because I don't know how to feel. I can't feel anything anymore.