Reverend Flavel: [after the Klan has crashed Rev. Flavel's revival, bald, naked and circumcised] Behold the Spawn of Satan! The Bowels of Perdition. Hear what I say! I speak Salvation! I speak Redemption! Mickey: [instructing Tommy Turner to turn on the tape recorder] Now. Reverend Flavel: CLEARLY I say this to thee... Commissioner Hurley: Holy Shit! Look at the dick on that son of a bitch! Commissioner Couch: Hey, Mayor! That guy's dork's even bigger that yours! Commissioner Hurley: If you had a dick like that, you could give your secretary a flying@#$%. Mayor Abernathy: Look at that snatch! Woman at Rally: Oh My God!
[faints] Little Girl: Oh, Mother. Commissioner Couch: Hey, Mayor. Does Reverend Flavel approve of THIS? Reverend Flavel: [to Mayor] You Scum! Mayor Abernathy: Approve? Are you kidding? Reverend Flavel GAVE me this one!
[audience starts booing loudly] Reverend Flavel: Blaspehmy! Shakespeare must go! So sayeth the Shepherd! The Flock Members: SO SAYETH THE FLOCK! Reverend Flavel: And what sayeth you, Mr. Carter? Carter: [very angry at this point] Get the Flock out of here!
[the students all start cheering] Reverend Flavel: This means war! HOLY WAR! Flock! FOLLOW! Wendy: Hey waiter! Put shit-face's drink here on Commissioner Gebhart's bill! For piss-sake he's up for re-election next week, you think he can afford this shit. Pee Wee: [to Commissioned Gebhart before taking his picture] Say "I'm Ruined!" Graveyard Gloria: I'm so hot! I want all of you guys. But especially you!
[indicating Pee Wee]
[drunken and dressed as a zombie] Steve: Brian, really, who do I look like? Brian: [agitated] For the third time... Boris Karloff as "The Mummy".