Quotes from
A Christmas Story (1983)
Old Man: What is the name of the Lone Ranger's nephew's horse?
Mother: Ah... Victor! His name is Victor.
Old Man: How the hell did you know that?
Mother: Everybody knows that!
[In a Chinese restaurant]
Waiter #1, Waiter #2, Waiter #3: Deck the halls with bells of frory, fra ra ra ra ra ra.
Ralphie: My little brother had not eaten voluntarily in over three years.
Ralphie: Only one thing in the world could've dragged me away from the soft glow of electric sex gleaming in the window.
Ralphie: No! No! I want an official Red Ryder, air carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle!
Santa Claus: You'll shoot your eye out kid. Merry Christmas. Ho! Ho! Ho!
The Old Man: Where's the glue?
Mother: We're out of glue.
The Old Man: You used up all the glue on purpose!
Ralphie as Adult: My father wove a tapestry of profanity which to this day is still hovering somewhere over Lake Michigan.
Ralphie as Adult: I have since heard of people under extreme duress speaking in strange tongues. I became conscious that a steady torrent of obscenities and swearing of all kinds was pouring out of me as I screamed.
Ralphie as Adult: Meanwhile, I struggled for exactly the right BB gun hint. It had to be firm, but subtle.
Ralphie: Flick says he saw some grizzly bears near Polaski's candy store!
Ralphie as Adult: They looked at me as if I had lobsters crawling out of my ears. I could tell I was in imminent danger of overplaying my hand.
Ralphie: Oooh fuuudge!
Ralphie as Adult: Only I didn't say "Fudge." I said THE word, the big one, the queen-mother of dirty words, the "F-dash-dash-dash" word!
The Old Man: What did you say?
Ralphie: Uh, um...
The Old Man: That's... what I thought you said. Get in the car. Go on!
Ralphie: It was all over -- I was dead. What would it be? The guillotine? Hanging? The chair? The rack? The Chinese water torture? Hmmph. Mere child's play compared to what surely awaited me.
Ralph 'Ralphie' Parker: We plunged into the cornucopia quivering with desire and the ecstasy of unbridled avarice.
Ralph 'Ralphie' Parker: Aunt Clara had for years not only perpetually labored under the delusion that I was 4 years old, but also a girl.
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