Bobby Boucher: Now that's what I call high quality H2O.
[after Bobby demonstrates his tackling ability] Coach Klein: Bobby, can you do that for me every game? Bobby Boucher: Coach, not only will I do it for you, I... I... I... yes, yes, I'll do it for you. Townie: You can do it. Coach Klein: Gatorade not only quenches your thirst better, it tastes better too. Bobby Boucher: No. Coach Klein: Gatorade. Bobby Boucher: H2O. Coach Klein: Gatorade. Bobby Boucher: H2O. Coach Klein: Water sucks. It really, really sucks. Water sucks. Bobby Boucher: My Mama says that alligators are ornery because they got all them teeth and no toothbrush. Bobby Boucher: "Well I like school... and I like football... and I'm gonna keep doin' 'em both because they make me feel good.
[Slams door, then comes back] Bobby Boucher: And by the way, Mama... alligators are ornery because of their medulla oblongata.
[Slams door, then comes back] Bobby Boucher: And I like Vicki and she likes me back. And she showed me her boobies and I like them too." Lawrence Taylor: Which brings me to my second point, kids. Don't do crack. Paco: I am not what you would call a handsome man. The good Lord chose not to bless me with... with charm, athletic ability... or a fully functional brain. You see, you're an inspriation, to all of us who... who weren't born handsome, and charming and cool, and and...
[breaks out in tears] Bobby Boucher: Nice hit, Mama. Mama Boucher: Thanks baby. Now you go on and have some fun becomin' a man. Mama Boucher: It's the devil. Walter: Let's kick some names and take some ass.
[after watching Bobby tackle a player] Paco: Look at Bobby tackle. I haven't seen a tackle like that since Joe Montana. Walter: Joe Montana was a quarterback, you idiot. Paco: I said Joe Mantegna. Mama Boucher: No son of mine is gonna play any foos-ball.
[Upon hearing that Bobby Boucher has been benched] Townie: We suck again. Guy Grenouille: Nice going shithead. You lost us the football game. Bobby Boucher: Sorry. Will you please still be my friend? Guy Grenouille: No, Get away. Lynn: You gonna add another championship trophy to the old case downstairs? Coach Red Beaulieu: That's kinda like my old man told me one time, Lynn. The only thing better than a crawfish dinner, is five crawfish dinners. Bobby Boucher: Excuse me ladies while I just go kill myself.