Quotes from
The Goonies (1985)
Elgin Perkins: Is your mommy here?Brandon Walsh: No, sir. Actually, she's out at the market buying Pampers for all us kids.
Stef: This is ridiculous. It's crazy. I feel like I'm babysitting, except I'm not getting paid.
[the Fratellis are interrogating Chunk]
Francis Fratelli: Tell us everything! Everything!
Chunk: Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
Jake Fratelli: I'm beginning to like this kid, Ma!
Mouth: Is this supposed to be water?
Mama Fratelli: It's wet, ain't it? Drink it!
Mikey: Goonies never say die!
Sloth: Hey, you guys!
Mama Fratelli: Sweet heart you ok?
[falls on his nuts]
Francis Fratelli: Nooowooooh.
Andy: I can't tell... if it's an "A sharp" or if it's a "B flat"!
Mikey: Heh, if you hit the wrong note, we'll all "B flat!"
Andy, Stef: Let's getta outta here! Like now!
[Brand and Andy are about to kiss after falling down]
Chunk: Shame, shame!
Data: I know your name!
Mouth: Come on, Brand! Slip her the tongue!
Stef: Oh, that's disgusting. Now I can't even look.
Mikey: Don't you realize? The next time you see sky, it'll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it'll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the best of stuff for us. But right now, they got to do what's right for them. Because it's their time. Their time! Up there! Down here, it's our time. It's our time down here. That's all over the second we ride up Troy's bucket.
Data: Fifty dollar bill? Fifty dollar bill! Fifty dollar bill! Guys, there's a fifty dollar bill!
Chunk: Listen, okay? You guys'll never believe me. There was two cop cars, okay? And they were chasing this four-wheel deal, this real neat ORV, and there were bullets flying all over the place. It was the most amazing thing I ever saw!
Mikey: More amazing than the time Michael Jackson come over to your house to use the bathroom.
Brandon Walsh: More amazing than the time you saved those old people from that nursing home fire, right?
Mouth: Yeah, and I bet it was even more amazing than the time you ate your weight in Godfather's pizza, right?
Chunk: Okay, Brand. Michael Jackson didn't come over to my house to use the bathroom. But his sister did.
Chunk: Mikey, Mikey, come on, our parents are worried. It's dinnertime. Why don't we go home?
Mikey: Home? What home? In a couple more hours, it ain't gonna be home anymore. Come on, guys, this is our time. Our last chance to see if there really is any rich stuff. We've got to.
[the Goonies are collecting coins from a wishing well]
Stef: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop, stop! You can't do this.
Data: Why?
Mikey: Why?
Stef: Because these are somebody else's wishes. They're somebody else's dreams.
Mouth: Yeah, but you know what? This one, this one right here. This was my dream, my wish. And it didn't come true. So I'm taking it back. I'm taking them all back.
Mouth: Lookit! I got an idea. Why don't we just put chocolate all over the floor and let Chunk eat his way through?
[Chunk drinks from a water cooler while the others try to figure out how to get through the floor]
Mouth: I've got an idea. Why don't we just spread chocolate all over the floor and let Chunk eat his way through?
Chunk: Okay, Mouth. I've taken all I can stand... and I can't stand no more!
[Chunk steps towards Mouth, knocks over the cooler, and tries to right it]
Chunk: I got it! I got it! I got it!
[Chunk rights the cooler, but the bottle falls off and breaks]
Chunk: I don't got it.
Everyone else: You klutz!
Chunk: Hope it's not a deposit bottle!
[Mikey looks at the map]
Mikey: Sixteen thrity-two. What is that? A year?
Mouth: No, it's your top score on Pole Position.
[Mouth is translating Mrs. Walsh's instructions for Rosalita]
Irene Walsh: Pants and shirts go in the... oh, forget about it. Just throw everything into cardboard boxes. Clark, can you really translate all that?
Mouth: For sure, Mrs. Walsh.
Mouth: [in Spanish] The marajuana goes in the top drawer. The cocaine and speed go in the second drawer. And the heroin goes in the bottom drawer. Always separate the drugs.
Mikey: [the kids are arguing] Stop! We've got to get to the lowest point of the floor.
Brandon Walsh: Lowest point nothing, Mikey. Now let's go!
Data: Pinchers of Peril. You guys...I've been saved by my Pinchers of Peril!
Stef: [Andy has accidentally kissed Mikey] OK, you kissed. Now tell.
Andy: There's something weird.
Stef: What? What is it?
Andy: Does Brand wear braces?
Andy: [Stef bursts into laughter] Why are you laughing? Stef, it was beautiful.
Stef: Next time you kiss him, do it with your eyes open. It's a whole different experience.
Mikey: [to One-Eyed Willie] Hi Willie. Oh, I'm Mike Walsh. You've been expecting me, haven't you? Well I made it. I beat you. I got here in one piece... so far.
[lifts up Willie's patch]
Mikey: So... that's why they call you One-Eyed Willie... One-Eyed Willie.
[takes a breath from his breathalizer]
Mikey: We have a lot in common, huh Willie? You know something, Willie? You're the first Goonie.
[the rest of the Goonies show up]
Mikey: Yo. Hi guys. How's it going? This is Willie... One-Eyed Willie. Say hi, Willie. Those are my friends... the Goonies.
[pauses]
Mikey: How long have you guys been standing there?
Brandon Walsh: Long enough, Mikey. Long enough.
Andy: I hit the wrong note. I'm not Liberace you know!
Mama Fratelli: The only thing we serve here is tongue! You boys like tongue?
Data: Holy S-H-I-T!
Chunk: Mikey, Mikey, this ain't the kind of place you want to go to the bathroom in.
Mama Fratelli: Why not?
Chunk: Because they might have daddy longlegs and um... like dead things, Mikey. DEAD THINGS!
Mouth: Senior Jerk Alert!
Mikey: I swear on my life! They've got an... an 'IT!' A giant 'IT!' When it came into the light it was all gross and distorted, and, and...
Brandon Walsh: Yeah, kinda like your brain, right lame-o? Say goodbye to your little pals.
Mama Fratelli: Kids suck.
Mikey: You idiot you glued it on upside down.
Chunk: It looks fine to me.
Irene Walsh: Brandon Walsh! If you don't bring those kids back I'm going to commit Harri Krishna!
Brandon Walsh: That's Hari Kari, Ma!
Chunk: [with potato chips in his mouth] You think your Mom's gonna notice?
Mikey: What?
Chunk: [more clearly] Do you think your Mom is going to notice? Notice that the statue's penis is missing.
Mikey: I wonder if she'll notice.
Chunk: That's what I said!
Mikey: Well, of course she'll notice. She notices everything.
[Chunk glued the statue's penis on upside-down]
Chunk: How's this?
Mikey: Oh, you idiot! You glued it on upside-down!
Brandon Walsh: If God made it that way, you'd all be pissing in your faces!
Chunk: Looks fine to me.
Brandon Walsh: I'm gonna hit you so hard that when you wake up your clothes will be out of style!
Chunk: I'm not afraid of the dark. I like the dark. I love the dark. But I hate nature. I HATE nature.
Chunk: I just saw the most amazing thing in my entire life!
Mouth: First you gotta do the truffle shuffle.
Chunk: I smell ice-cream.
Chunk: Look at this. They've got Misissippi Mud and they've got Chocolate Eruption and they've got what?
[Everyone screams]
Chunk: It's a stiff.
[Everyone screams and drops the dead body]
Irene Walsh: Brandon I want you to keep your brother inside I don't want him to catch a cold.
Brandon Walsh: He should be put in a plastic bubble.
Irene Walsh: I'm serious Brandon! That's not funny. If he takes one step outside and you'll be in the deepest, absolutely the deepest, shi, shi, shi...
Brandon Walsh: Shit ma!
Irene Walsh: I don't like that language but that's exactly what you're going to be in, and you Data.
Data: Data
Irene Walsh: Data use the front door from now on okay? What is that?
Mikey: Those tires cost $500. They're the most expensive thing in the world.
Mouth: Now they're the most flattest thing in the world. Let's go!
Brandon Walsh: My new tires! They popped my new tires those son of a... I'm going to kill...
[Brandon takes a little girl's bike]
Brandon Walsh: Thanks kid! I appreciate it.
Girl: My bike! I want my bike, I want my bike, I want my bike.
Mouth: Chunk, I'm pretty much ODing on all your bullshit stories!
Chunk: Ah, Shit!
Mama Fratelli: Trust your dear old mother boys. Throw 'er into four-wheel drive and hold on to your hats.
Chunk: Captain Chunk.
Chunk: I'd like to report a murder.
Sheriff: Hold on, hold on a minute, is that you again Lawerence.
Chunk: Listen I'm in the Fratelli's basement with this guy.
Sloth: Rocky Road? Heh Heh!
Sheriff: Yeah right like that time you said all of those killer cockroaches were taking over every sizzler steakhouse in the city?
Chunk: Come on Sloth get back here. I'll show you don't go down that way.
[Phone disconnects. Sloth freaks out]
Sheriff: Lawerence?
Chunk: Look Sloth it's just your echo.
Sloth: Echo?
Mouth: C'mon Mikey, give me a lickery kiss!
Mikey: [about the statue's penis] That's my mom's most favorite piece!Uuuuuh...
Mouth: You wouldn't be here if it wasn't!
Andy: Do you think theres really any treasure here?
Mikey: Andy this whole ship is a treasure.
Stef: Data where are you going?
Data: I'm setting booty traps.
Stef: You mean booby traps?
Data: THATS WHAT I SAID! BOOBY TRAPS! God These Guys!
Andy: Brand... What happened to your braces?
Brandon Walsh: Braces? I don't wear braces, Mikey wears bra... Mikey! That son of a...
Andy: Shhh!
[kisses him again]
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