Uncle Red: I understand that my niece and nephew have been sending little love letters to the local minister suggesting he gargle with broken glass, or eat a rat-poison omelette! Jane Coslaw: Aww, look out world, Marty the great didn't get something he wanted. Uncle Red: "Where's your Mom? Marty Coslaw: She and Dad are out back lighting the barbeque yeah and Jane's walking around in all these new clothes showing off her tits, acting like no one ever had tits before her" Uncle Red: "You guys wanna know what I Think? Marty Coslaw: No, we just called you out here to admire your pretty little face. Uncle Red: "You better watch your mouth, you're on thin ice with me Son. Jane Coslaw: Oh, I hate you, you booger! Marty Coslaw: You know who had a bat like that? Mr. Sturmfuller. Uncle Red: So? Jane Coslaw: Well it looked like Bigfoot used it for a toothpick. Jane Coslaw: You always take his side because he's crippled. Well it's not my fault he's crippled! Nan Coslaw: You just stop it right now or I'm gonna smack you. Jane Coslaw: What's that for? Marty Coslaw: Money for new pantyhose. Jane Coslaw: I can buy a new pair of legs at the drug store for $1.49. Uncle Red: What the heck you gonna shoot a silver .44 bullet at anyway? Guns Dealer: How 'bout a werewolf? Stella's Boyfriend: It may be your baby but it ain't my bun in the oven. You know what I'm saying? Remember the good times. Mrs. Sturmfuller: What's the matter, you gonna make lemonade in your pants? Milt Sturmfuller: I ain't scared! Emma's father: Damn cripples. They always end up on welfare! I'd blow them all away if there weren't so god damn many of them. Uncle Red: I feel like a virgin on Prom Night. Uncle Red: You know Marty, when you lost your legs I think you lost some of your common sense too. Marty Coslaw: This one's for the good guys! Jane Coslaw: In the make believe stories a man becomes a werewolf only when the moon is full. Maybe somehow it's different. Maybe he's like this all the time. Only as the moon gets fuller... Marty Coslaw: The guy gets wolfier. Arnie Westrum: Rango Beer. Its bitter, not sweet. A real frosty treat. Won't you buy, won't you buy Rango Beer. Hey Arnie, what do you want? I want some Rango! Guns Dealer: It's got a low-grane load, so it won't tumble. Elmer Zinneman: [sees Marty stuck in the condemned bridge] Spooky in there, ain't it? Uncle Red: [after Jane and Marty tell him about the werewolf] I'm a little too old to be playing "Hardy Boys meet Reverend Werewolf"! Reverend Lowe: You meddling little shit!