Quotes from
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Robbie: Remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you!
Robbie: Have you been drinking too?
Julia: No, it's Coke.
Robbie: You sure? There's no rum in your Coke?
Julia: No! And if it was, I'd probably be puking as much as that kid!
Robbie: I doubt that. I think I saw a boot come out!
Harold's brother: I got a little newsflash for you, Pop. Harold ain't so perfect. Remeber when we were in Puerto Rico and we picked up those... well I guess they were prostitutes but I don't remember paying.
Holly: You know who else I think is sexy? Robbie Hart.
Glenn: Heh, you think the "Time To Make The Doughnuts" guy is sexy.
Robbie: Now let's cut the stupid cake 'cause I know the fat guy's gonna have a heart attack if we don't eat again soon.
Glenn: Hey, do you want to go straight to getting married, or do you want to do some gambling and have some fun first?
Man: We're paying you to sing, not share your thoughts on life!
Robbie Hart: Well I have a microphone and you don't... so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!
Julia: Not porno tongue, church tongue.
Robbie: Church tongue, I like that.
Robbie: When I put my mind to something, I go all the way. I'll go all the way for you, sir. I'm a big fan of money. I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I wanna put more in that jar. That's where you come in.
Robbie: [singing] You don't know how much I need you. / While you're near me, I don't feel blue. / And when we kiss I know you need me too. / I can't believe I found someone that's so pure and true. / But it all was bullshit! It was a goddamn joke! / And when I think of you, Linda, I hope you fucking choke!
Holly: I let him look at my boobs. Not my finest half-hour, but it's been a pleasant working environment ever since.
Holly: If you come upstairs, you're gonna get laid.
Linda: I'm not in love with Robbie-now, I'm in love with Robbie-six-years-ago.
Robbie: Now please get out of my Van Halen T-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up.
Robbie: Once again: things that should have been brought to my attention YESTERDAY!
Robbie: Some of us will never ever find true love. Take, for instance...me. And I'm pretty sure that guy right there. And that lady with the sideburns. And basically everybody at table nine.
Rosie: When I got married, I wasn't a virgin. I already had intercourse with eight men. That was a lot back then. That would be like 200 today.
Sammy: No one wants to see a 50-year-old guy hitting on chicks.
Robbie Hart: Well, we're living in a material world, and I'm a material girl. Or Boy.
Guest: You are the worst wedding singer in the world, buddy!
Robbie Hart: Sir, one more outburst from you, I will strangle you with my microphone wire, do you understand me?
[After singing to Julia]
Robbie Hart: I have a confession to make, that song was about you. I'm in love with you.
Julia Sullivan: I am totally in love with you.
Robbie Hart: Her name's gonna be Julia Gulia? That's funny.
Glenn Gulia: Why's that funny?
Robbie Hart: I... I don't know.
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