Stewardess: Can I get you anything to drink? Clark Griswold: Honey? I guess I'll have a Coke. Stewardess: Do you want that in the can? Clark Griswold: No, I'll have it right here.
[In Germany; Clark peers down at a village in the hills and tears come to his eyes] Clark Griswold: There it is, kids, Mom's home. Rusty Griswold: Dad, Grandma is from Chicago. Clark Griswold: Shut up, Russ.
[In England] Ellen Griswold: Clark, you're on the wrong side of the road. Clark Griswold: Yes I know, honey, I'm also on the wrong side of the car. Clark Griswold: Aw, there's Buckingham Palace, kids, that's where the Queen lives and works. Audrey Griswold: What does she do? Clark Griswold: She queens. And she vacuums. Clark Griswold: [singing] Oh the hills are alive with the sound of Griswold/this shit's been around for a very long time. Ellen Griswold: Look back there! Clark Griswold: Yeah, it's a hooker... Ellen Griswold: Look who she's with!
[Clark looks back, Rusty is with the hooker] Rusty Griswold: Who was it that said when in Rome do as the Romans do? Clark Griswold: That was Rome not Paris. This is Paris and you're drunk.
[In England Rusty sees a man with a punk Mohawk haircut] Rusty Griswold: That's it! That's what I want my hair to look like dad! Clark Griswold: Oh Rusty you don't want to look like a rooster do you? Clark Griswold: There's the left bank kids. I bet you can't guess what bank is on the right. Rusty Griswold: The Bank of America.
[In Germany Clark is looking for their relatives house] Clark Griswold: What are we looking for? Audrey Griswold: Sex dad. Clark Griswold: That'll do Audrey. Rusty Griswold: Dad that's German for six.
[Rusty and his California Girl join the rest of the family as they chase Ellen's kidnapper] Clark Griswold: Get in. Rusty Griswold: What Happened? Audrey Griswold: Oh, not much. Mom's been kidnapped. Ellen Griswold: Clark, why don't we just forget the "Pig-in-a-Poke" itinerary, and just play it by ear, like normal people? Clark Griswold: Honey, we're not normal people. We're the Griswolds. Clark Griswold: Hey look kids, there's Big Ben, and there's Parliament.